Monday, March 20, 2017
a new cycle
I knew it then, but I see it clearer now than ever, that 2016 was about understanding my life, my heart, my world and my soul more deeply. It was about growth. Growth that was faster and more painful than the pain of growing bones during childhood, more than the pain of loss, more than the hurt of the ego. And at the end of the year when I determined MY word for the year, I chose "butterfly".
A few months into the new year, I smile at the accuracy of that word, at the perfection of each piece of the puzzle, at the beauty of my unfolding story... 2017 is about commencement. It is about trusting the perfection of the unknown. It is about miracles in the making. A fresh start.
The dreams I see... The scents I am able to smell.. Even though there is no rational explanation for them... I can remember the last time this happened so clearly. It was six years ago, and I was jogging in a field of canola in the north east part of the U.K. Thought seized and feeling took its place. Feeling... most vulnerable. Feeling and acting before thinking is the most beautiful and most honest experience of the soul.
Fast forward to 2017.
It was precisely on the 8th of March. On international women's day.
I cried. And my heart longed to meet itself. To truly look into its inner the mirror and see its reflection for what it truly is. Have you ever missed yourself? Have you ever felt a deep longing to become who you truly are? Who you know yourself to be? Or who you never thought you were? And yet, you are...
This year is pivotal. I don't know what it holds. All I can feel with every fiber of my being is that it is entirely different. It is decisive. Like the tuning-fork. It sets the tone for the coming years. And even though I have never sang this song before, I seem to know the melody deep within. The notes... the notes will reveal themselves. In perfect time. I trust my soul's spontaneity, its receptivity and the tiny voice within.